As a savvy veteran of the Match.com world, I've learned many a difficult lesson about women who over-share, those who post old photos and etiquette about how to treat a one-night stand (always offer to buy her breakfast....I'm old-fashioned like that.)
But lately there is one I just started paying attention to: The Log-in Game. Let me explain:
Let's say you're seeing someone but you're in that weird/in-between zone (dates four through six) where you're cool and have no interest in dating anyone else but neither is saying if you're only dating one another. You think you are but...well, no one has brought it up, likely out of fear of being weird about it. So with this paranoia firmly in place, you occasionally log onto Match.com and click their profile...and see that they've been on within the hour. Hmm...
From here, there are a few moves:
1) Douche Move: "I saw you're getting on Match, what's up? Are you talking to other guys?"
-This seems to work really well for the insecure ass-clowns. Not my speed.
2) Cool Guy Move: "So, umm, we're cool and all, but are we cool?"
-This isn't an awful move but eye contact and the tone of your voice are key. She'll either know that you're asking about your mutual status...or assume you're trying to buy weed from her.
3) No Move: No insertion of hilarious, cleaver, witty fake quote here. Nope. Just don't say shit.
No answers to this one for me yet...Unless...
What if she's getting on Match to see if I'm getting on Match?
Wow, man...that shit was deep. Maybe I should see if she will sell me some of that weed after all...
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Fake numbers, no responses, and other shit these lesbians are pulling...
I wrote a blog post once called "The Stink of Failure" which looking back, had very little to do with that. It was more about trying new things, having some balls and making changes. It was awe-inspiring stuff...no really, go read it...
And I have been taking my own advice since becoming single again and most things have worked out pretty well. I'm training for a 5k race in May (I totally recognize that the fact that when one needs to train in order to run 3.1 miles is extraordinarily sad) and re-activated my Match.com account. But...
The results have sucked thus far. First, there was a girl we will call Katie because that's her name. We emailed, sent texts, and finally agreed to meet for coffee. Amazingly, things seemed to go really well; we talked, laughed, and seemed to have plenty to say for over two hours. At the end of the date, we hugged and she said, "Let's do something again, I had fun. Text me that you got home safe." And like a dumbshit...I did just that. I got home and texted her back saying that I did make it home, that it was fun meeting her, and that I looked forward to hanging out again. Her response: We're still waiting. That was FIVE FUCKING days ago. And thanks to iMessage and the "read message notification" I know she saw it.
A few days later, I met friends for a few beers and one of the girls in a neighboring booth struck up a conversation with me. Since we were all drinking I was funnier than usual and definitely more attractive. As we all prepared to leave, I asked to call her...she smiled, wrote down her number, and said, "That sounds like fun." Two days later I called...and got the voicemail for a guy who works for Consumers Energy. Double checked the handwriting and my dialing...
So here's the question: What in the blue fuck is going on?
To the first girl: It's cool if you aren't interested but don't fucking give signals like "We should hang out again" and "Let me know you got home okay" because that shit is confusing. I get not wanting to reject someone to their face but you know an even better option? Don't say anything other than "Thank you" and I will get the hint.
To the second girl: I had three beers but was by no means hammered (Oh, I'll show you drunk...) Is a fake number better than lying to me and saying that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/transgendered partner? Or even easier, don't initiate the goddamn conversation.
The obvious issue here: all these fucking lesbians leading on the straight men. Go play some softball and knock that shit off.
And I have been taking my own advice since becoming single again and most things have worked out pretty well. I'm training for a 5k race in May (I totally recognize that the fact that when one needs to train in order to run 3.1 miles is extraordinarily sad) and re-activated my Match.com account. But...
The results have sucked thus far. First, there was a girl we will call Katie because that's her name. We emailed, sent texts, and finally agreed to meet for coffee. Amazingly, things seemed to go really well; we talked, laughed, and seemed to have plenty to say for over two hours. At the end of the date, we hugged and she said, "Let's do something again, I had fun. Text me that you got home safe." And like a dumbshit...I did just that. I got home and texted her back saying that I did make it home, that it was fun meeting her, and that I looked forward to hanging out again. Her response: We're still waiting. That was FIVE FUCKING days ago. And thanks to iMessage and the "read message notification" I know she saw it.
A few days later, I met friends for a few beers and one of the girls in a neighboring booth struck up a conversation with me. Since we were all drinking I was funnier than usual and definitely more attractive. As we all prepared to leave, I asked to call her...she smiled, wrote down her number, and said, "That sounds like fun." Two days later I called...and got the voicemail for a guy who works for Consumers Energy. Double checked the handwriting and my dialing...
So here's the question: What in the blue fuck is going on?
To the first girl: It's cool if you aren't interested but don't fucking give signals like "We should hang out again" and "Let me know you got home okay" because that shit is confusing. I get not wanting to reject someone to their face but you know an even better option? Don't say anything other than "Thank you" and I will get the hint.
To the second girl: I had three beers but was by no means hammered (Oh, I'll show you drunk...) Is a fake number better than lying to me and saying that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/transgendered partner? Or even easier, don't initiate the goddamn conversation.
The obvious issue here: all these fucking lesbians leading on the straight men. Go play some softball and knock that shit off.
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