So I re-joined Match.com and have been chatting with Sabrina; who is attractive, has a great job, and claims to have an amazing sense of humor. So plans were made for us to have drinks today. I walk in the door at 5:54pm (this will be important later)...
We meet and she actually looks like her pictures, which is a nice change of pace for me. But then something odd happens when I ask her a question about her Easter dinner, she answers it...with three fucking words, "It was fine." Hmm, okay, so I ask if she did anything fun while home with her family this weekend, her response "Not really."
And so it went for the next half hour, I ask an open-ended question and receive an answer that was anywhere from one to five words in length....followed by silence. I didn't even get the unimaginative follow-up question of, "What about you?" and even "You?" was too much to ask.
After 20 minutes of this, she finally offers "I don't have much to say sometimes." No shit Socrates, I did that math. I asked her if she wanted another drink, to which she literally shrugged her fucking shoulders, couldn't even utter a syllable. I took this as my cue, called for the check, paid it like an asshole, and mercifully, the date ended.
I got back into my car and the clock read 6:32pm.
The lesson here: If you're on an awful date, you know you'll NEVER see this person again and she offers to split the check...don't be an asshole...split the check.
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