After the last Match.com Stir event, I had reservations about going back. Nothing about it was terrible, except for the fact that I saw my friend's girlfriend there and confronted her. On the bright side, I now had a newly single friend to bring along.
(Side note: These events are SO much more fun and easier when you bring a wingman along with you.)
My buddy and I made our way to another bar in the Grand Rapids area and entered the event and surveyed the landscape. Much like the last gathering, there was pretty much a 50/50 male/female split and it really covered all age ranges.
(A quick note about my buddy: he is in his early 40's and tall. Like 6'5" tall. As I would soon find out, his size brings out the aggressive nature in ladies.)
As we stood there with our beers and checked out the scene, we were approached by two ladies: Amanda, 34, blond hair, built like a butt plug (that's not a compliment) and Marie, 51, rail-thin, pathetic and REALLY likes tall guys. After 10 minutes of polite conversation, Marie turns to my buddy and offers "I bet I could climb you, mind if I try?" No one laughed. My buddy looks at me with confusion and then we all look at Marie, who is smiling. This chick was serious.
(Stir lesson: Know when to leave. If you aren't interested be polite and pull that goddamn ripcord.)
After a less than gracious departure from Buttplug & Marie (Worst morning radio show ever), we were soon corralled by a collection of five insurance agents. They were a pretty forgettable group (three of them were married, so that was....confusing) except for Sandy, who was short, stout, and aggressive. She fired questions at me like I was in a job interview: "Where do you work? What do you read? Do you travel?" Instead of allowing me to answer, she answered and then offered her take on her question. Example: "Do you watch TV? I think TV is for dumb people. Successful people looking to climb the C-Ladder do not watch TV." When I told her that I love TV she actually responded, "So you don't want to be successful?"
I will deal with a lot but I will not let anyone besmirch the good name of television.
(Stir lesson: Don't insult people. Just shut up and move on.)
At this point, I made the decision to literally turn my back on this chick, without knowing who or what was standing behind me. The who, as it turns out, was Kristen: cute, funny, friendly and knowledgeable about Detroit Tigers baseball. We started to talk and it just flowed; she asked me questions and seemed to care about the answers. What "it" is, she and I had it.
Meanwhile, Buddy was caught up in the circle of insurance agents, fighting for his life.
(Stir lesson: Again, don't be afraid to politely cut bait. Buddy learned this the hard way.)
My night drew to a close, I asked to see Kristen again and she said yes.
That was two weeks ago and we have hung out as much as possible. We find the same things funny, are both laid back, have drastically different tastes in music BUT...it is going really well.
So, for those considering a Match event, there are all kinds of people out there: tall, short, nice, aggressive, young, old, fat, skinny, and buttplugs. Ideally, there is one who will click.
But for the love of Baby Jesus, watch out for the climbers...
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